This Nonsense for 100 Dollars

It’s 3AM. Twenty minutes ago, you were deep asleep, drooling on your wife’s forehead, dreaming of that farm in Nakasero, Uganda. Then you get a ping — a different ping, the one you specifically chose for that notification type.

You squint your eyes, look at your phone, and see “S1-DB is down.” In RED. As you squint further, trying to boot your brain, another one arrives: “S2-DB is down, 212 transactions cannot be processed.”

At that moment, you feel a cold shiver go down your spine. You toss your wife’s head aside, jolt up, and dash to the corner of the living room...