The High-Volume Dating Burnout

There is a side to modern dating culture that rarely gets talked about: the sheer, exhausting admin of it all.

When you tell people you’ve had 60 to 100 partners over a decade, the immediate assumption is usually one of two things: either you’re living out a cinematic fantasy, or you’re completely devoid of emotion. The reality, at least in my experience, was far weirder—and ultimately, exhausting.

Looking back, my timeline was anything but linear. I was a virgin until I was 24. Then, almost overnight, I swung wildly in the opposite direction, packing years of missing experience into a hyperactive two-year period. That was followed by five years split between two serious relationships. When those ended, I fell right back into the chase—hunting for validation, novelty, and connection in equal measure.

By the time I hit my mid-30s, I realized that across a decade of active dating, I had spent roughly 25 years of my life entirely celibate.

And frankly? I was burned out.

The Hidden Cost of "Keeping the Pond Stocked"

High-volume dating looks exciting from the outside because it’s built on novelty. Everything is changing, every weekend offers a new story, and the dopamine hits are continuous. But it’s an inherently unstable way to live.

Eventually, the novelty wears off, and you’re left looking at the operational overhead:

The Constant Maintenance: You find yourself perpetually "keeping the pond stocked." You're constantly swiping, texting, maintaining conversations, coordinating schedules, and keeping people...