Shameful Season, I am in

Shameful Season, I Am In

There comes a time in life when you've lost so much that shame no longer has any place to hide.

I believe I am currently in that season.

No one can shame me more than I’ve already shamed myself.

No one can take me lower than I’ve already been.

Sitting alone, questioning every decision, every dream, every step that led me here.

About a month ago, I was on a popular YouTube channel and decided to tell the raw truth.

Not a polished version that gains applause.

Not a version to impress, but UKWELI m-tupu!

I shared about failed businesses—my "deadbeat" situation.

Losing nearly everything.

Being evicted.

The heavy burden of providing for a family with almost empty pockets.

Dreams that refused to die amid the ruins.

I expected judgment.

And sure enough, some threw stones with their words.

Some laughed.

Some questioned my choices.

Some reminded me of my failures as if I could forget.

But, pia thousands chose "the silent" Kindness.

And a few the loud and sacrificial kindness, from as far as Australia, Germany & Minnesota.

They encouraged & prayed with me, wengine waka ni ivite Kanisa...

Some shared their stories.

They reminded me that failure is more common than we admit—it’s just hidden behind masks, memes & filters.

My 90-minute video, watched by over 23k humans, 160 comments, has taught me that.

The truth is lighter than pretending.

For years, I believed I had to hide my broken pieces until I rebuilt my life.

Now I see that rebuilding

doesn't happen in secret.

Sometimes, it happens in public.

So if you're waiting for the moment I announce, 'I’ve finally made it,' you'll have to wait a little longer.

Because this isn’t that chapter.

This is the rebuilding chapter.

Ni slow, so uncomfortable and at the same time

It’s humbling.

But it’s honest.

Every day, I wake up with a new chance to build again.

Not just businesses, but character, discipline, hope, and faith.

I don't know how the story ends.

But I do know this:

I’d rather be remembered as someone who kept rebuilding than someone who quietly gave up.

If you’re walking through your own shameful season, listen closely: to what #KijanaYaNanyukiInNairobi has to say.

Your current chapter isn’t your final one.

Failure is loud, but it’s not forever.

Maybe the greatest victory isn’t avoiding the fall.

Maybe it’s having the courage to stand up one more time.

I'm still rebuilding.

And for the first time in a long while...

I'm no longer ashamed to say it.