PROFESSOR PROBLEM

THE DAY I DECIDED TO HELP MY NEIGHBOUR'S CHILD WITH HOMEWORK

Ever wondered why I run whenever I see a child with a book?

There is a story behind that.

Actually, there are three children, one very angry mother, and a teacher who still calls me "Professor Problem."

---

It happened on a Sunday afternoon. The kind of Sunday where you've already eaten too much, the football match is boring, and you're just lying on the couch scrolling through TikTok.

Then I heard a knock.

Not a polite knock. The kind of knock that says, "I know you're inside, don't pretend."

I opened the door. It was my neighbour, Mama Janet. She had her son, Junior, with him. Junior is about ten years old. Very quiet. Very serious. The kind of child who looks at you like he's calculating your net worth.

"Habari," Mama Janet said. "Unafanya nini?"

"Just resting."

"Good. Because Junior needs help with homework. Mathematics."

I looked at Junior. Junior looked at me. His eyes were saying, "Please say no."

My mouth, unfortunately, said something else.

"Of course. Bring the book."

---

At this point, my brain was screaming.

"Wewe! You failed mathematics in Form Two! You don't even know your times tables!"

But my ego had already volunteered.

---

Mama Janet handed me the book. It was one of those modern textbooks with pictures and colours. Very different from the ones we used. Back in our day, mathematics books were just black and white and depression.

"Page 45," she said. "Fractions."

Fractions.

I hadn't thought about fractions since 2012.

"Sawa," I said, trying to sound confident. "I'll handle it. Come back in one hour."

She left. Junior sat down. I opened the book.

And then I saw it.

Question number one:

"If John has ¾ of a cake and gives ⅓ to Mary, how much cake does John have left?"

Simple, right?

Wrong.

---

I stared at the question for thirty seconds.

Junior stared at me.

"Unajua?" he asked.

"Of course I know. I'm just... thinking of the best way to explain."

"Okay."

I looked at the question again.

3/4 minus 1/3.

I knew the answer was somewhere between "not much" and "why is this even a problem?"

But I couldn't show weakness.

So I did what any reasonable adult would do:

I started guessing.

"Junior," I said, "what do you think the answer is?"

"Teacher said we should find the LCM."

"LCM?"

"Least Common Multiple."

"Ah yes. LCM. Of course. I was just testing you."

---

Inside my head:

"LCM? What is LCM? Is that a new phone? A network? Why are children learning things I don't know?"

---

"Okay," I said. "Let's find the LCM of 4 and 3."

Junior looked at me. "It's 12."

"Exactly! 12. Good. Now what next?"

"You multiply."...