Nairobi Man.

Kevin from Nairobi woke up at 5:30 a.m., the alarm screaming like it was also tired of life.

He lay in bed staring at the ceiling thinking about bills. Rent. Tokens. Wi-Fi. School fees for a child who still believed money came from “Daddy’s phone.”

Kevin sighed.

“Ah, the modern Kenyan man,” he whispered dramatically to himself. “Born to suffer.”

He dragged himself out of bed and prepared for the daily adventure known as trying to survive adulthood in Kenya.

By 6:30 a.m. he was already squeezing into a matatu, bent like a folded samosa while the conductor shouted, “Tao! Tao! Haraka haraka!”

On the way to work Kevin opened his phone and started scrolling. A random wildlife page popped up with a fact about anacondas.

He read it once.

Then again.

Then he sat up straight.

“Eh?”

According to the post, when a female anaconda mates, there is a 100% chance she gets pregnant. So after mating, she simply wraps herself around the male anaconda…...