I WASN’T SUPPOSED TO NEED HER

Episode 1 — Last Seen

At 12:36 AM, I was seated on my bed pretending to debug code.

Truthfully, I had been staring at the same error for almost forty minutes. I had reached that stage of programming where you stop fixing the problem and start questioning your bloodline.

The laptop was heating my thighs. The room was hot. And the small fan near the window was rotating slowly, like it also had lost motivation in life.

Outside, a nduthi guy was arguing with a watchman. Something about "nilikua nimerudi tu." Every Nairobi man says nilikua nimerudi tu" at suspicious hours.

---

I picked my phone again. Bad habit. No notifications. Just low bundles and stress.

I opened WhatsApp status absentmindedly. A former classmate was in Dubai posting steering wheels. Another had posted:

"God did."

No explanation. Just suffering with confidence.

I don't know why, but I posted: *"Some phases of life humble you silently."* Then I threw the phone beside me and went back to my laptop.

---

My phone vibrated. I ignored it. Probably Safaricom reminding me that poverty also has notifications.

It vibrated again. WhatsApp.

"Vanessa Wanjiku replied to your status."

I paused slightly. I knew her the way people know each other online nowadays — through views, reactions, occasional replies. Nothing serious.

Her message said:

"Silently is dangerous 😂"

I smiled a little. Not because it was funny-funny. But because she sounded awake. And people who are awake at 12:40 AM are usually either overthinking or unemployed. Sometimes both.

I replied:

"Loud suffering attracts advice."

Seen immediately. Typing…

"And silent suffering?"

"You just buy Smokie and continue."...