from haha just kidding to I do in seven days

​It started with a thumb-scroll and a bad sense of humor. There he was, in the "Singles of Nairobi" group, looking like he’d been dressed by his mother and posing next to a very confused-looking goat. His caption was a manifesto on traditional values and his need for a "virtuous woman." Naturally, I decided to ruin his day.​I commented: "I can’t cook, I sleep until noon, and I think 'virtuous' is a brand of mineral water. Where do I sign up?"​I expected a block. Instead, I got a DM. Three days of nonstop banter later, I realized two things: 1) He was actually hilarious, and 2) I was dangerously close to liking a man who unironically used the "smiling face with halo" emoji.

​ When it came time to meet, the thought of a restaurant made my palms sweat like a marathon runner. What if I got lettuce stuck in my teeth? What if he was 4-feet tall and I’d worn platforms? So, I suggested his place. Totally safe, right?...