A pregnant wife can even send you out of your house ndio alale pekee yake.

Bro, nobody warned me that once your wife gets pregnant, your house stops being your house. 😂

Before pregnancy, we used to share the bed normally. One pillow here, one pillow there. Life was peaceful.

Then my wife got pregnant.

First, it was small things.

“Babe, move kidogo.”

I move.

“Babe, your leg is touching me.”

I move again.

“Babe, you're breathing too loudly.”

Now that one confused me.

“I'm breathing loudly?”

“Yes.”

I stopped talking.

Then one night around 2AM, I was sleeping peacefully. Suddenly I felt someone shaking me.

“Babe… babe…”

I opened my eyes.

“What?”

“I can't sleep.”

“Why?”

“You're making me uncomfortable.”

I looked at my side of the bed.

“I've been sleeping in the same position for two hours.”

“Exactly. You're occupying too much space.”

😂

I moved to the edge.

Five minutes later…

“Babe.”

“Yes?”

“Can you please sleep somewhere else tonight?”

I thought she was joking.

“Where?”

“Maybe the couch.”

I laughed.

She didn't.

“I'm serious.”

Now I'm looking at this woman thinking, this is my house.

But then I remembered she's carrying my child, so suddenly my confidence disappeared.

I took my pillow and blanket and went to the couch.

As I'm walking away, she says:

“Thank you, babe. I just need to sleep alone.”

Alone?

In our bedroom?

At that point I realized pregnancy had unlocked a new level of authority.

The next morning I woke up with a stiff neck, a cold back and absolutely no rights.

I went to the bedroom and found her sleeping comfortably across the entire bed.

One leg on my pillow.

My blanket.

My side of the mattress.

Basically, she had annexed the entire bedroom.

I stood at the door like a tenant waiting for the landlord to finish inspection.

She opened one eye.

“Why are you standing there?”

“I was just checking if there's space.”

She looked at the bed.

“There is.”

I smiled.

“Can I come back?”

She thought about it for two seconds.

“No. I want to sleep alone.”

😭😭😭

Bro, that's when I understood.

When your wife is pregnant, you don't get kicked out because you did something wrong.

You get kicked out because your existence is disturbing the peace.

You can own the house.

Pay the rent.

Pay the electricity.

Buy the food.

But if your pregnant wife says, “Please sleep outside tonight…”

Pack your pillow.

You have been evicted from your own property.

And the worst part?

You can't even appeal the decision because the judge is carrying your child. 😂😭

Pregnancy is the only situation where a woman can look at her husband and basically say:

“Out.”

And the man goes:

“Okay babe. Do you need anything before I leave?” 😭😂