A Create Of Badiaba and A Broken Heart.

Walalahoi, back in the days, we had this soda called Madiaba. I don't know where the idea of calling it madiaba came from. We also didn't have mandazi, instead there was kaimati. Pairing Madiaba with kaimati was like a waingo marrying a muthokoi babe. A perfect match. Mambo mbaya. So heavenly.

In fact, in the village of those days, Madiaba and kaimati were not just refreshments; they were part of a young man's relationship strategy.

As a boy, your ability to provide a bottle of soda and some kaimati could determine whether you 're winning a girl or remained in the village watching other men successfully connect damsels to their power grids with ultra high horse power like a brand new Massey Ferguson tractor. Winning a daughter of Obadiah was not just about your language, your sweet words or your ability to compose poetry under a mango tree. Those days girls had not yet discovered cars, shopping sprees in Dubai and the concept of soft life. A young man with two bottles of Madiaba could make himself look like a serious economic player.

I had a friend who understood this reality very well. He had decided that he was not going back to Mji Wa Lulu a virgin simply because his ancestors had passed the poverty gene down to him. Never! After chasing a certain daughter of Obadiah for ages without success, the son of Adonijah finally decided to change tactics.

One day, he told her, "Rasoah, you know I've been wanting to test my generator. I thought you'd help. I am not sure why you are playing hard to get. Why are you so stingy with things Yehovah Tsuri gave you for free? Or you think I can manage you. Do you know I can buy you more Fanta Madiabas than you can finish?"

The daughter of Obadiah looked at him and simply said, "Bullshit!"

But the son of Adonijah was not about to allow years of unsuccessful courtship to collapse in one word. "No, wallahi, billahi, tallahi, I mean it! I am not a ndume suruali as you may think. Why don't you stop by my grass-thatched bungalow tomorrow and see for yourself?"

The girl immediately became suspicious. She told him she was not a mumu, that she...