When my second-born came, I think that's when life became much harder.
We now had two children under two.
Their basic needs were almost the same.
Diapers.
Clothes.
Food.
Everything needed money.
One baby was already growing, and now there was another small baby who needed me too.
The bills became heavier.
The responsibilities became more.
And at the same time, my husband was still jobless.
I never completely lacked money.
But the money I had was never enough for everything.
There was rent.
Food.
Bills.
And two small children who needed their basic needs.
So every time money came in, I had to choose.
And honestly…
I chose them.
I chose the children.
I chose food.
I chose the bills.
And slowly, I forgot myself.
There are things you don't plan for.
You just find yourself surviving.
When my period came, I didn't have pads.
My alternative was my babies' diapers.
I would take a diaper, cut it into two pieces and use it during the days I was menstruating.
That was my reality.
Not because I didn't know I needed pads.
I simply had other responsibilities that came first.
I never told my husband.
He was already jobless and struggling, and I didn't want to give him more depression.
So I carried it all alone.
Even my panties were torn.
I couldn't afford to buy new ones, so I took a needle and thread and stitched them myself.
I know it sounds small.
But when you are the one living it, you understand how heavy it feels.
My Facebook earnings were only cents.
But I kept telling myself, “At least it's something. It's better than nothing.”
I had to keep going.
For my children.
For my husband.
I didn't have the luxury of giving up.
The earnings kept coming in cents.
I tried.
I really tried.
But at some point, I got tired and gave up.
I took a break from Facebook.
But after some time, I looked at my life and realized I had no other thing to do.
I still had my children.
I still had my husband.
I still had responsibilities.
So I went back.
I started again.
Not because things had suddenly become easy.
But because sometimes, you continue not because you are strong…
You continue because you have no choice.
And that is how I kept going.