To a mind like mine, one that is full of curiosity and wonder, asking questions is a gift and a curse. On one end, curiosity lets you explore the world in many ways. It takes you places and expands your mind in new and fascinating ways. It invites exploration and opens doors to experiences, emotions, and ideas I never would have stumbled upon otherwise. I am very grateful for the support I got from my parents and, more importantly, my maternal grandma. In a society where curiosity was something to be tamed, they gave me outlets that brought growth. I learned how to navigate curiosity in ways that protected me while allowing me to thrive. It has not always been easy. I have pushed buttons and stepped on some toes along the way. However, being curious about life and the world has brought me closer to figuring out who I am. It has allowed me to know my goals and validate my dreams by questioning almost everything, and that has brought colour into my world.
My questions have often led me to the grey areas. The nuanced, not black-or-white, aspects of life. It's a beautiful thing being able to understand and be comfortable with the grey. To realise that sometimes we can never fully understand. It can be freeing to let go of the kind of control that makes us believe we can have answers to everything. This freedom, though, can lead to the dark side of curiosity.
A mind that seeks answers will inevitably have to wrestle with not finding them. The grey areas can be fascinating, yet sometimes, before we get to the light, we are in the dark. When I need to know something, I often feel like I am in a pitch-black room. There is no drop of light, yet I know that somewhere there is a switch, and I just need to get to it. That frustrating feeling of moving in the dark, arms spread out, trying to feel for a switch, is what it feels like to lack answers. It is an itch that can't be scratched and can be very irritating. It is worse when we cannot seem to get the answers...